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Ozzy's Page of TRUTH!!! (Read: BEWARE THE WISHBONE CONSPIRACY!!!)
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Oh yes, the X-Files were just a silly farce to distract the Television-Watching public from the REAL problem...WISHBONE!!!
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Oh yes. Wishbone. You may know Wishbone as the dog with such a big imagination...for such a little pup. But I am here to tell you the dark truth behind this little dog. It is oh so sad. If you don't have a sense of humour, and/or irony...please leave. I suppose I should reveal how I stumbled upon this phenomenon. Well, as it so happened me and my friend, let's call her Mary Joe (names have been changed to protect the innocent) were heatedly debating a certain episode of Wishbone. You know, the one with the barn, and the barn catches fire with Joe, Samantha and David trapped in it? Well they sent Wishbone with a map of the the barn to find help, and Wishbone saved the day. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?!?! Is what you might be thinking. That's what I thought. Any person in their right mind knows, you light the DOG on fire, with the map in its mouth so the people know to hurry because the barn is on fire!! DUH!!! We all had a good laugh. Then I wittily remarked, "that dog would go up like a bunch of cheap polyester!" Then it hit us. Wishbone was obviously made of polyester. He was a robot dog created by those media tycoons at PBS. The Public Broadcasting System. How dare they?
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What IS the story, Wishbone?
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Alarmed by our discovery, my friend and I took the liberty of warning everyone we knew. Yet, they wouldn't listen...not at all. The teachers wouldn't make an announcement. This only led us to believe that they were all obviously linked to the Conspiracy. It was all falling into place...all too perfectly into place. My friends (the people who did not ridicule me and my best friend right then) decided to form the AWC. The Anti-Wishbone Conspiracy. Hereby referred to as the AWC. The AWC (circa 1997) takes great measures to stop the madness from this dog. Yes, shake a leg now Wishone, and wag your little tail, and go ahead and be sniffing out adventure...BECAUSE YOUR TIME IS RUNNING OUT!!! Yes indeed, Wishbone, we are ALL on to you! It is quite obvious...why, how could PBS ever broadcast a show that EDUCATES children? They're all about animal mating/killing documentaries!!! And another thing, REAL DOGS CAN'T TALK!! And if they did, their lips would move!!! It is so obvious it is a wonder that this hasn't been stopped. Day after day, more and more people are being recruited to join their task force. Why, an associate of mine, let's just call him "Billy Joe Bob" was even an extra on the show!!! I think he was sent by the Wishbone People to spy on me...
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Beware my friends, if it isn't the government, aliens or the IRS...it's Wishbone.
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I hope reading this page has enlightened you...if not, then you are one of them!!! Just, beware of what you are watching, stick to good wholesome shows like South Park, Sailor Moon or Super Friends...and wholesome actors that are not dogs, like Billy Baldwin, Ralph Fiennes and Ewan McGregor. Just, stay away from dogs in movies and television in general. Unless you are talking about Wonder Dog. He is cool. He is a crime fighting dog...while Wishbne merely investigates books...WHY OF COURSE!!! I've stumbled upon another thing!! DOGS CANNOT READ!!! Just wait till the AWC hears about this!!!
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